3 Survival Tips for Navigating Tough Times, Permission to Celebrate Small Wins and the Importance of Gratitude!

Life’s dynamic duo, changes and challenges, are inevitable and make up the pivotal parts of life’s story to be later told in the golden years. As for getting through the events that tell the eventual story, that’s a whole bunch of trial and error. Here are some things to think about before getting into the navigational tips.

Regardless of the events that occur, taking time to grieve the end of an era, a loved one or a part of who you once were is necessary. The best advice for grieving is to acknowledge and feel the emotions without over-masking them with a substance (alcohol, drugs, pharmaceuticals) or behavior (avoidance, shopping, overworking…). It can be challenging to regulate these coping strategies, but it’s important to try and limit them in order to move forward in as healthy a way as possible. There’s no judgment in the grieving process as just waking up the next morning is a success. Self-love and care is essential when recovering from a great loss and once the tears part for a moment these 3 survival tips will assist in launching you into the next chapter.

Assess - Create an itemized list or timeline of the events that have occurred. It’s okay to be sad and reflective, you’ve been through a lot, especially if you have children or you were betrayed or blindsided by the events that took place.
Dream - This is the time to think about those childhood dreams and big wishes for the future. If you had unlimited finances, what would you do right now? Where would you live? What would you do as a career or what philanthropic foundation would you create? This is your time to play and dream in a literal sense. Movement pushes energy and emotions through the body that transitions a mental state like no other method. Take this opportunity to play a game like a child, exercise or dance like an idiot in the kitchen to 80’s music. Just get moving!
Assemble a Plan - Now that the body is tingling and the brain has gotten a dose of oxygen, it’s time to put together an action plan. Keep this simple and within your current resources. This is where the big dream gets simplified into achievable steps. For example, if you want to travel the world and become a travel writer, you could start with your own town, closest city or with an activity unique to where you live. Explore and write about your experience and take it further with recruiting family or friends to join you. This could be the start to a new career. If taking a pay cut is necessary during this time, try to see this is as a “sling shot” step, where sometimes moving backwards can catapult you farther than where you were when you lost it all.
BE SURE TO…
Celebrate - Take note of your progress and celebrate what may seem like baby steps are actually really bigs deals when moving through a tough transition. Write down all of these milestones as they happen in order to review in moments of discouragement.
Express Gratitude - Make a list of every single thing you are grateful for in this moment. This list better include the smallest to the biggest aspects of your life from your finger nails to your home regardless of any imperfections. Express gratitude for all that has happened, good and bad because without it, you wouldn’t be able to grow stronger for your next steps. We are all an example and an inspiration to one another so be kind to yourself and to others. Everyone is navigating through something.

Here’s a small peak at a chapter (in progress) from my soon to be self-published book, “How to Make the Best F’ing Lemonade,” for a bonus perspective on moving through tough times.

PHOENIX MOMENT

Identify the alignment of events when everything seems to be happening all at once.

This is your chance to re-build and reinvent your life. Everyone has many Phoenix moments at varying and often unexpected times. We need to see these moments as opportunities to review, regroup, refresh and rebuild in a way that far exceeds our original vision. At this point, there is absolutely nothing more to lose.

It is valuable to have a few “down-on-the-ground,” full depletion of every emotion, reason, answer and excuse moments. This is where the good stuff we create is built upon. It is also like a game of “trust me” for yourself. The question is, can you catch yourself before you fall or do you need to break down completely to test your resilience? You are definitely much stronger than you think.

When everything crashes down around and on top of you—loss of a job, car, house, a friend or relationship, your glasses, keys or an ebay bidding war—you are experiencing, a “phoenix moment.” The moments in life where you are left feeling abandoned and naked in the “street,” with nothing to protect or save you from what could happen next. There is absolutely nothing left for anyone to take from you. The world you created is burnt to the ground and when your last justified tear falls, you will about-face and start walking in a new direction. This is an opportunity to single handedly rebuild your entire life brick by brick, moment by moment. It’s all yours and you can create whatever you want. Sometimes, it’s necessary to make the decision to light the match that will burn down everything as you knew it to start again. This is survival.

Photo by: tina natalini from the Montreal Botanical Garden 2010

The Lotus Flower emerges from mud and is a perfect representation for the human experience. Enjoy this Lotus Flower (I give permission to download, save and share this photo) to remind you of what’s to come as you navigate through many tough times in life. Feel free to share this with someone who could use some visual inspiration.